I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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