Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...

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(330): View more from Ohio

You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.

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(303): View more from Colorado

We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.

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(510): View more from California

How are you and your magical vagina doing today?

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