I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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