Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The struggles of a small town man whore
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
