i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
