I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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