they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
