Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
