i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
