I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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