i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
