I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
