God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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