small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
