I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
