someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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