Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just cut my nipple shaving
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
