We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
