All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
