I heard we made out
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
