I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
How does one acquire holy water?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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