I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Randomize
