i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
