I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
