in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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