She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
