We're like a lot better than the average bears
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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