well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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