Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
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