This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Alive.
So much puke
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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