I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
