I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
