Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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