I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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