well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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