What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
