It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
