You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
