I can tuck mytits in my pants
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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