awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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