No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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