Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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