Already got asked if we're dating
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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