I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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