A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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