nut hugger
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
