Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
