I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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