you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
