If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
