i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
